oh yes... i will be back, in full effect soon.
I know i've said this before, but this time is different. I've dealt with my demons and have loads to write about. And even more links than you can shake a stick at
see what i mean?
job job, i have a job.
hope can only take you so far before reality bring you back (i f*cking hate reality)
It's been a while for all of you as for me as well. I'm sorry for neglecting my postings but it's been pretty rough. Granted my days really don't get much more exciting than: computer, eat, bathroom, tv (order depends on day), but there is so much more going on.
As you all know: I am stil jobless. And i am down to my last shred of hope, which is the encouraging words of mishu. I love her so much and it must be killing her watching me like this.
I don't get it.
I bust my ass: working on projects for my portfolio and other artwork that I can present, prepare for interviews, getting suit cleaned, etc
I apply to jobs: online, newspapers, phone calls, emails, letters, references, cover sheets, snail mail, salary requirements and history, nice layouts, catchy intros, personal statements, multiple resumes, etc etc etc
I go to interviews: fake smiles, make good impressions, more smiles, cold rooms, blank stares, worthless questions, best/worst qualities, we'll call you, eat shit letters, handshakes, copies of resume, human resources, etc etc etc etc
these people determine the rest of my life, it would be nice if they appear to F*CKING care about it. Do they realize the amount of hope they give people as they throw out their resumes? Do they realize they are the last shred of hope for most of these people? Do they realize they are f*cking with the lives of others?
They sit in their cushy jobs and "production-line" through people. Everyone tries their hardest to make their resume just that much better than someone elses. But it doesn't really matter. Remember that portfolio i worked on for so long and all that preparation? 3 interviews not a single one will lead to a promising job.
I hate this. I can't just go home and live off my parents (for obvious reasons). I need to pay bills and rent. I need money and work. I need... ah f*ck it
I just need more hope...
am i nervous?
you freaking know it. (need some screaming music now to calm the nerves)
i forgot to state one thing:
"Thanks to SunColors, Mishu, and Mishu's Momma"
you guys are the reason I stay sane. :)
you know i love ya!